I was supposed to lift this morning. I haven’t been sleeping well, so when I finally crashed at 4am, I decided it would be wise to skip my 5:15 appointment with the weights, keep my head secured to my pillow and postpone until this evening. I rarely deviate from my workout schedule, but by tonight my body ached for a run. Nothing else was going to do it for me. After work I quickly served up some dinner to the boys, fed the pups and drove to the park. On my way I noticed a few dark clouds in the distance. We have had beautiful weather the past few days, but the evenings have been dark and stormy. I stopped looking at the clouds and kept driving; maybe if I ignored them they would go away?
They didn’t go away. They got darker and stormier. It was only 7pm-ish but it was starting to look like 9pm-ish. I sat in my car and debated what to do next. I noticed many (but not all) people quickly finishing up their workouts and making their way to their cars. I got out and walked up toward the trail head to stretch. A park volunteer met my eye and pointed to the sky. “It’s coming fast, you aren’t going to have time!”, he said moving quickly toward the parking lot. “Let it rain!”, I yelled back to him. “What?” “Let it rain!”
With my feet planted on the ground and legs straight, I bent forward and hung my hands toward the ground to stretch. Let it rain. I closed my eyes and those words kept running through my head. Let it rain. I breathed in the humid air and just hung there for a minute…asking for rain. I wanted the skies to open. I wanted to feel cold rain on my face.
No less than two minutes into my run, my prayer was answered. And OH BOY did it rain! No thunder, no lightening…just a heavy, constant downpour. I had to talk myself through the first half mile. “This is going to feel slower than normal.” (You are slow all the time.) “My shoes are wet and my feet feel heavy.” (Perfect! You are supposed to be lifting.) “I am wearing Steve’s new running watch.” (It was pricey enough to at least be “water resistant.”) It was raining hard enough that I feared it would damage my iPod, so I tucked it in my shirt and just listened to the rain, and my feet sloshing in the puddles…
Puddles. The puddles made me think of Henry. My sweet, puddle-jumping, tree-climbing, ball-catching, bike-riding, snuggle-bug Henry. He reminds me several times a week now that in “a couple -a months” he is going to kindergarten. This makes me proud, happy, thankful and sick to my stomach all at once. He is my baby. Headed off to school. Let it rain. Let me feel the sting of watching him stroll down the driveway with his new lunchbox and backpack. Let me feel the weight of watching him blow out 6 candles on his cake in August. It’s a perfectly natural part of being a mom. It’s life. Let it rain.
I listened closely for thunder and watched for flashes in the sky. They never came. By my second mile my thoughts turned to the future – dreams that I want to make reality. Goals that continue to keep me up at night. The winds of change are coming and there will most certainly be storms to weather. Let it rain. Let the storms come. Let them make me uncomfortable and help me realize my purpose. This year I have learned that when storms become threatening, I know where to find shelter. I am not afraid. Let it rain.
I finished a third mile, and headed home. The rain never let up. Steve was tucking our two snuggle-bugs into their beds. I got to rub noses, smell hair and kiss faces. They got a kick out of the fact that mom could ring out her shirt. Let it rain. It makes me appreciate the sunshine.